I'm a victim

To the editor:

I am joining the “Me Too” movement after suffering the worse spousal abuse that any American male can suffer.

My wife took control of the remote control and forced me to watch the recent Emmy awards show.

The horror. I had nightmares the rest of the night, and I think I might be suffering from media PTSD.

Now I’m still suffering from upsetting, noisome memories of the bizarre freak show, and have strong feelings of detachment concerning the Hollywood entertainment community and California.

In fact, just about an hour ago, I had a hallucination that Colin Jost had said that some of his best friends were “straight white males.”

What a condescending cliché, thought!

However, all is not lost. I’ve been thinking about going into mass media, and I think that being a middle-aged moderate conservative living in New York City am truly “dancing outside of the box.”

So perhaps with a new wardrobe of designer clothes, good wig, hypoallergenic makeup and a leg waxing, I might get my big break on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Or perhaps, despite the “odds,” I might consider running for political office (only kidding).

Here comes my 15 minutes of fame …

Lou DeHolczer